Crude
by meganekko-bomb
Summary: Sort of Dead Line universe. Not necessary though. Roy defines the word 'crude'. Roy/Ed


**Crude**

A RoyxEd Oneshot. Yaoi!

Sort of Dead Line universe, but it's stand-alone too. ...yeeeaaahhhh

Quoth the authoress: Disclaim all!

O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Roy stared at the fire, watching the orange luight dancing on the iron stove's surface. He smiled, his cheeks warmed by a feeling other than the flickering flames. Flame and Fullmetal. A hot burning passion licking and melting the sturdiness of the teen's solid front.

The Colonel utilised his flames in a poetic fashion, gently tearing away at Edward's shield, allowing the golden blonde to be free from his self-appointed walls.

The aforementioned teen was currently in the shower, warming up from the snow and cold he had trekked through for nearly an hour to arrive at his lover's house.

Roy had pouted generously at this, insisting that _he_ could warm, there were blankets and the fire, and hot chocolate. But no, the Fullmetal was as stubborn as always, stomping up the stairs in his bare feet, flesh and steel, the different materials echoing oddly on the hardwood floor.

Roy felt a fluttering sensation in the pit of his stomach (and somewhat below it) as he thought of Edward, completely naked up in his shower. The water cascading over every muscle, droplets of glass down his pectorals, down his stomach, all the way down to the muscles Roy noticed were becoming particularly active on his own body.

He breathed through his nose, closing his eyes and concentrating on dispelling the carnal fantasies that paraded through his mind's eye. He took a sip of hot chocolate, pulling a pillow over himself to disguise the evidence of his rather dirty thoughts.

The sound of water ceased, Roy smiled as he drank more hot chocolate, his body anticipating the arrival of his love, still steamy and wet from the shower.

A few impatient minutes passed, in which Roy had calmed himself sufficiently to the remove the pillow. He heard the teen's uneven steps on the stairs, shifting quickly to lay over the full extent of the couch.

"Hey," said the older man, feigning a casual appearance. His tome was nonchalant, suggesting to Edward that he was embarrassed or hiding something. Roy was never nonchalant, and rarely if ever lounged around so carelessly.

"What's your problem?" asked Edward, rubbing his hair with a towel.

"Nothing! Nothing at all! I was just resting here!"

Edward arched a light brown eyebrow, "Okay..."

The blonde sat on the arm of the couch, rubbing his face and clearing the wet strands of hair from his view. Roy stroked his leg with his toe playfully, prompting a scandalized look from the teen.

"You just touched my butt!" Edward accused, holding the towel limply in his hands.

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did! You just poked my butt with your toe!"

That was your leg!"

"No that was my butt! I think I would know!"

"Well, I'm sorry!"

Edward frowned, pulling Roy's dark blue robe closer around himself. "You could be a little more subtle if you were going to feel me up anyway." he mumbled.

"What?"

"I said, be more subtle. You can't just go up to someone and poke their butt. That's crude."

"Crude is me yanking you to your feet and forcibly grabbing your ass with both hands, and then taking you up to my bedroom and having my way with you."

"Nice to see you given the definition such thought."

"Well, I try. And what about you? You can't come parading in here in _my _robe, where I can clearly see your finely toned... self. That robe is old, and very clingy, and you are being very seductive. You were just asking to be groped in some fashion."

"Seductive? I just sat down on the couch!"

"And are showing off your sexy legs, which I meant to touch, but I was just a little off aim. Which resulted in me touching your butt."

"So you really didn't mean to?"

"No."

"You don't want to grab my butt? You always said it was my best feature."

"If it offends you, I won't."

Edward stood up, striding over to to his lover's side. Roy sat up, anticipating some violence or something. Unexpectedly, the blonde turned around, showing off the firm curve of his butt through the thinning fabric of the robe. He spread his arms wide, the robe inching upward with the movement, proclaiming loudly. "Go for it. I don't mind. Grab my butt. I know you want to."

"No, that's okay. You're not a sex object."

"Go on Roy, grab it!"

"No!"

"Limited time offer! You'd better take advantage of your chance!"

"I won't!"

"Come on!" Edward swayed on the spot, making the dark blue fabric flutter attractively.

"Oh, fine!" Roy snagged the blonde around the waist, pulling him closer and slinging him over his lap, slapping his butt several times before standing him up and releasing him.

The teen stood in complete shock, a blush creeping over his cheeks (both of them); slowly he turned, staring at the older man.

Roy grinned brightly, sinking comfortably back onto the couch, reaching for his hot chocolate and sipping it calmly as if nothing had happened.

"Y-you were just crude!"

"That I was, and you asked for it."

"I didn't think you would do that!"

"As if you didn't enjoy it."

"I think you enjoyed it more." commented Edward dryly, plopping down on the couch, placing a pillow over Roy's pants.

Now it was the raven-haired man's turn to blush.

A few minutes passed, in which Edward smiled smugly, self-satisfied that he created such a reaction on Roy, and the older man blushed extravagantly, silently berating himself for the reaction.

"I'm glad to see I can elicit such a reaction from you." Edward smiled, leaning over and resting his wet hair on Roy's shoulder. "Don't be embarrassed, it's perfectly natural."

"Shut up."

The teen shrugged, placing his legs on the couch beside him, curling up comfortably beside the older man. He yawned widely, clinging to the Colonel for warmth.

"Are you cold?" Roy asked, wrapping his arm around the blonde.

"Your house is drafty."

"Your robe is drafty."

"It's _your_ robe. Why don't you get a new one?"

"Because it smells like you, and whenever you're not here, it's like I can fall asleep next to you."

Edward considered him for a moment, before smiling softly and shifting to lay his head on the pillow on Roy's stimulated lap. "You realise that I am here right now... feel free to fall asleep next to me."

"I'm not sleepy yet."

"So go do something that makes you tired. Go do paperwork or filing or-"

"You?"

"How would th0 oh."

Roy chuckled mischieviously, bending down and kissing his lover's forehead.

"But I'm already tired, go do something else."

"I only do you." Roy stroked Edward's arm, lazily feeling the muscles underneath the thin cloth. "Hawkeye can testify to that. I haven't gotten any paperwork done since I have you to do. You're very time-consuming, you know."

"Well, excuse me."

"Not that I mind. You're infinitely better than... well, everything."

Edward blushed considerably, looking up at the older man. "You're very romantic when you want to be, you know."

"Oh, I know, Just don't tell anyone."

"Okay."

Roy studied the blonde's golden eyes, getting lost in the aureate ocean. "Because I love you I'm romantic. Otherwise, I wouldn't bother. It's hard to be romantic to a shrimp." Roy teased.

"You almost made me a little more awake, now I'm just going to sleep." Edward frowned, pulling away fractionally.

"Ah, come on Edward."

"No."

"Please?"

"No. No sex for you."

"That's crude."

"It's called for."

Edward sat up, positioning himself so he would not touch the raven-haired man in the slightest. The Coonel surveyed him for a moment, following his movements as the teen lay on the other side of the couch with his head on the arm.

"Ed?"

The teen did not answer.

"Hey, Edward-chibi." Roy poked the teen's leg, hoping to prompt a retort.

Edward gave a quiet snore, wiggling down into the comfortable sofa.

The Colonel looked down, noticing the immodesty of Edward's horizontal form, as the robe was not doing much to cover certain critical areas. He slowly got up, careful not to shake the sofa and risk awakening the diminutive teen.

After rushing upstairs, he retrieved his red velvet blanket from his bedroom, draping it over the semi-naked blonde.

"By the way, it is pretty easy to be romantic to you." Roy whispered, kneeling down beside the couch, "You just need someone to love you." He thought a moment, "If you're awake and pretending to be sleeping, I love you Edward Elric. I'll tell you every day. Whether you can hear me or not."

He gently pushed the golden hair from Edward's face, ignoring the scars that were now incidental on the flawless surface of the blonde's face.

After an unknown amount of time staring at his lover's face, Roy kissed his lips gently before standing up and stretching, feeling a sudden somniferousness come over him.

He shuffled upstairs, halting at the fourth stair to lean back and gaze at Edward slumbering quietly in the firelight.

At last he flopped onto his bed, wearing only his blue pajama pants. One-handed, he pulled one of his smaller burgundy blankets over his shoulders, already missing his large velvet blanket and the teen currently wrapped in it. It was cold. His fire didn't seem to work without someone for him to warm up.

O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Edward opened his eyes, watching Roy's feet disappear up the stairs. The fire was dying now, dwindling down to smouldering embers. He vaguely wondered if the fireplace in Roy's bedroom was lit, wishing he could create heat simply by snapping his fingers.

Well, he could, but there wouldn't be much finger-snapping involved. Or gloves, for that matter.

There were ways to get around the whole finger-snapping and gloves issue.

Especially in a clingy, see-through robe.

O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Roy was just beginning to drift to sleep when he felt someone crawl into bed beside him. By the smell of honey and still-potent shampoo, he guessed it was Edward, which logic suggested as well, had he chose to acknowledge it.

He felt the velvet blanket slide over him, warmth insulating him, making him realise how very cold he had become.

"Hey, he whispered, rolling over, coming face to face with the teen.

"You too tired?"

"Too tired for what?" Roy asked stupidly.

Edward's hands crept over Roy's torso, coming to a halt at the top of his pants for a moment before continuing and forcibly grabbing the older man's butt.

"You wanna be your definition of crude?"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

OoO Wow, that was a little more boomboomyaoiness than I've ever written! I still can't do lemons right. I feel like I'm violating their personal space. I suppose I'm a little too attached to these guys.

-shrugs- Hope you like! Review for pie and cookies and cupcakes!

Love and kisses,

meganekko


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